I have moved house about 25 times in my life. The majority of those moves happened after I turned 18 years old. Life can be pretty crazy right? Unsettled, restless, uncertain and unsure. I’ve learned over the years that I can’t place any value on a house or in a location. It can change. Quickly and often without much warning. And so a long time ago I stopped placing importance on ‘things’. I had to pack too often, downsize each time. And with each move I ended up having less and less belongings. I know the first few times I found it hard. But with each move it became just that little bit easier. A sense of freedom, nothing tying me down.
But what I have placed significance on is people. I’ve lived in so many places and although everything around me would change, the one constant has always been people. And I can honestly say I never realized how important human beings were until we moved to Germany last October!
We’re currently stationed in Northern Germany for two years. We moved in October and it’s been the toughest move yet. When we first found out we were moving here excitement overrode every other emotion! We were gonna be moving to Europe and I would be close to my family and friends again for a while. I was incredibly excited for the adventure and even more excited for my husband to see Europe and experience how the ‘Europeaners’ live! We found out 21 months before we actually moved that we were going to Germany!
Sounds great right? But what we didn’t realize is that when you know you’re leaving and something else is about to take place, it’s very hard not to ‘check-out’ of your current situation. And we quickly noticed that that’s exactly what we were doing. We had 12 months left in Virginia Beach before we would then move to Washington DC for 9 months to learn German, before eventually moving on to Germany. Looking back we lived those 21 months half-heartedly. We didn’t get involved with things we probably would have had we not been ‘leaving soon’ and our minds were already on the ‘next adventure’.
Fast forward to October of 2019 and the adventure was finally here. We moved to Germany and were hit hard in the face with the unrealistic expectations we had formed. We didn’t know anyone, we moved in winter time and it was only light about 5 hours a day! And when I say light, dim would be a better description! Constant rain pounded the gloomy streets around us and within days of moving into our new house without any furniture (that would come 2 months later) my husband went out to sea and I would hardly see him until Christmas time!
Let’s just say, a fair number of tears were shed. As I sat on a little mattress upstairs in one of the empty bedrooms with just a bag of clothes, a laptop and my two dogs surrounding me – it hit me hard for the first time just exactly what we had left behind.
During those first few months I experienced loneliness on a new level. Despite my past I have always still had a full life. I’ve always had family and I’ve always had friends. Even though for many years I ‘felt’ alone, I’d never actually been alone. And for the first time I felt alone on a level I’d never encountered before.
People.
My eyes were opened to the importance of human beings, connection, friendships, familiarity and contact. Despite having spent 9 months learning German and becoming pretty decent at speaking the language, I felt like an alien in a foreign world. The culture here so vastly different from anything I’d been used to before. The actual spoken street language, a completely different language to the one we had learned.
When life is stripped away to the bare minimum, and at the time that really is what happened! No furniture, no ‘stuff’, no people anywhere nearby, sitting on my own in a foreign country – what is of value becomes magnified. I missed being able to go for a coffee with my girlfriends or sit in the office having a laugh at work. Going to my awesome church or camping out with my mates. I craved familiarity and connection. I desired human contact.
People.
At the essence and core of all of us is the yearning to be loved. It’s intimacy. For people to know us. Love us. Understand who we are. Community. We are born with an innate need and desire to belong. You often hear people say “I’m an introvert or an extrovert.” But it doesn’t change needing people in your life. It doesn’t mean we don’t need friends and family in our corner. Because we’re made to be in community with one another.
I was incredibly fortunate to get to know a couple down the street who saved us time and time again with basic things you take for granted every single day! Car insurance, bank accounts, internet, food stores, building a fence for the dogs! Kjell and Christiana if you read this blog – I am eternally grateful for your time and your friendship. You have been incredible from the minute we got here. And you’ve been a friendly face in an ocean of unfamiliarity, often in times when I’ve most needed it. Thank you!
I have learned many lessons over the past 8 months. Germany and coronavirus have been a school of life education. Its classes have challenged me to my core. Don’t take anything for granted. We almost wished our time away in Virginia Beach because we were too impatient to get to the next chapter. And yet I have yearned to be back there so many times since. I have a newfound gratefulness for all the people in my life. My family and my friendships. Whether I get to see them in person or just via zoom – it doesn’t matter. They’re there and that’s what counts.
Life is short and a pandemic can happen at any given time! A sudden move to a foreign country hides behind the corner. Make sure you make every moment count. Message your loved ones, let go of regrets. Place great value on the people who have been gifted into your life. We can’t do this life alone. If I had I’d be dead today.
Germany is growing on us! The people become friendlier with better weather! Certain people have been awesome since day 1. It’s been a challenging time here but it’s also been a time of growth and strengthening of character. I’m ready to start living in the ‘now’ and not waste anymore time. I won’t wish anymore time away but make the most of what’s right in front of me. I’m gonna message those I love and FaceTime and visit whoever I can whenever I can.
Because people are significant. And we can’t do life without them.
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